Life goes on...

 

It has been months that I have even made efforts to sit down and pen down about stuff that I’ve felt for years. I finally decided to write this because this is how I express myself. These three simple words I used for the title first struck me when I completed my 10th grade. Personally, I don’t like change and I prefer things as they are. And moving out of a school and people who were a part of my journey felt impossible. It seems nothing right now but to 15-year-old me, it meant the end of the world. With the same feeling, I decided to get into a new school and study what I’ve always dreamt of; but hoping I carry memories from the past. And by carrying, I don’t just mean reminiscing them but believing my past defined everything I did from then on. And boom! One year straight down the line, life changed. Many people, things, and memories I once loved ceased to bring out the same emotions in me but that was not the end of it. I fell in love with new people, things, and memories- and this time, the choices were made by a little better version of myself. Thus, then I learned, nothing really stops in the past and waits for you to dwell in them. So is life, it moves ahead to take you along a journey that makes you more loved and stronger than you once were.

But this one instance didn’t make me believe in these three words. Every single time I felt this was the dead-end but ended up finding a door out, these three simple words showed me the way. I do not know if it is the same for grown-ups but as teenagers, I know we find every little hurdle to be a mountain we can never scale but before we realize it, we’re on top of the peak; having a whole new view of the world. And until now, I have scaled up many such peaks that I thought I never would. The reason for this is people around me loved me unconditionally despite my flaws but they never failed to remind me that I was the reason for me to overcome every little discomfort I have faced. They made me strong and made me love myself through the worst. I felt not getting to do what I’ve always wanted was the end of my journey but the lines, “you don’t get what you want cause you deserve better” helped me get on yet another peak. I started loving every single thing I do. I got back to learning stuff I once thought I was not capable enough to do and appreciated every little thing about me; my flaws included because like I said, life does not stop for you. It pushes you forward to experience things you never thought you would, even in your wildest dreams. You lose someone you love, your interests change, you don’t enjoy your surroundings, you don’t feel like doing something, you feel uncomfortable listening to people tirelessly judging you. It is completely fine to feel all this because this is not the end. 

Life will move forward and so will you. You will find someone whom you’ll love harder than you ever have, find a new passion, and meet better people who would love you the way you are. This is because as each day passes by, you’re someone completely new then you were yesterday. You will find something new about yourself and leave past someone you were in the past; every single moment. You will make mistakes but also remember you will be forgiven because your existence means something to the people who love you, you will hurt but also be loved back harder, you will fall but also get back stronger with a bang because you are not given an option to stay where you once were. Like I already told you, life goes on. It doesn’t stop for you to lament things that are no longer in your hands. It wants you to move forward and feel what it is like to live every single day. 

This write-up of mine is not to address any issue but to address me. I want this piece to remain a reminder for me to come back to every single time I feel this is the end. I want these words to remind me to thank and appreciate myself for everything I have overcome; be it the littlest of my fears or flaws. I want myself to remember that every low and high I go through are mine alone. They will always remain a part of me. And to believe in me that I will move on and meet a better me over time. I believe it is high time we appreciate ourselves for who we are, at least half of how much we appreciate people around us. Or maybe more than how much we appreciate and accept others because it is you who has the heart to love the world the way it is. And thus, a little gratitude to yourself is all you deserve.