IT IS NOT LOVE!

 Standing in front of the television, watching the news, her husband cussed aloud at yet another man who raped a woman. Kamala, cooking in the kitchen, wondered how different this stranger who raped someone really was from her husband she’s been living with for half her life now, the man she’s been giving her body away for every single night without her consent. She almost laughed at the irony of it all.

This problem is not just Kamala’s. It is the problem of millions of other women living across 36 countries on this planet where marital rape is considered legal under its jurisdiction. Kamala and all these women do not even have the faintest idea that what their husbands are doing to them is a crime. This is because their countries’ courts and legal systems still believe that a married woman is not to be considered as an independent legal entity. She is rather a mere chattel of her husband. All these men who commit marital rape are immunized against their crimes over the fact that the victim is married to them. But in the end, we must remember the fact that the ramification is the same whether the woman is unmarried or married. Nevertheless, these married women are the ones who find it more difficult to escape from these situations as they are ‘legally’ tied to their husbands. And this makes all these men rape their wives with impunity!

Narrowing down the crisis concerning one of those 36 countries, let us talk about this issue in India. Yes, there is nothing to be shocked about looking at our country’s name on the list, we have not progressed so much that our country would be concerned about these topics. In our country, 1 in 3 men admits to raping their wife. And to add to this, Section 375 of the Indian Penal Code exempts unwilling sexual intercourse with a wife over 15 years of age. So this means that a man is free to rape his wife without any restrictions if she is above the age of 15! This is an outrageously absurd law that has stayed, with no amendments, since newly independent India. It is a crying shame that our country has still not criminalized this illegitimate practice yet. Most of the people here believe that making a law against marital crime would be against our culture as it would jeopardize our family values and in turn, lead to absolute anarchy in families! I must say, what an irony? In a country where all of the citizens are on the “Western culture” bandwagon, they end up remembering the values of the culture when it comes to following something right-minded from them. I believe all of us need to take some time to appreciate this take and remind ourselves of how far our country has come on the road of progress. The second view our people have is that once married, women have given a never-ending, continuous sexual consent to their husbands as it is their primary obligation. What they do not understand is that marriage does not mean that a woman’s body is now the man’s.  

The concept of marital rape is one that many find difficult to fathom around the world, including the developed nations. This is because the grotesque norms of patriarchy and outrageous mentality of male chauvinism make it strenuous for people to accept the fact that even women have a say during sexual intercourse whether she is your girlfriend, wife, or even a prostitute.

To end this article of mine which does not carry much weight to be given importance in this world where male domineer prevails, all I want to say is that it is high-time that much jurisprudence is a prerequisite concerned with the protection of women even from the man whom she loves and shares her life with.

And this poem by my friend sums up what I tried to reach out to you. 

CAUTION.

Caution! The pan is hot. 

Caution! Do not touch the wire. 

Caution! Items in the cupboard are delicate. 

Why is there no

Caution! The man behind you will grope you. 

Caution! Do not wear short clothes or you'll seem like 

"You're asking for it"

Caution! Your husband's masculinity is fragile. 

Cause if you touch the pan, your finger burns

But if you touch that girl, her heart does

If you touch the wire, it gives you a shock

But when they blame you for being harassed

It's all the more shocking

If you break that porcelain plate, you buy a new one

But can you buy me a new hymen?

If the pan is hot, keep it out of reach. 

Case the wire better to cause no casualties. 

Use metal cutlery instead. 

Teach your sons that women are not sex toys

Tell your daughters it's not because of what they were wearing

But because of his twisted sense of entitlement 

Tell your husband to go fuck himself

Marital rape is illegal too.

Putting up caution signs does not solve the problem

Doing something about it does. 

-Sahitya Reddy