IT’S NOT A MYTH, IT IS A REALITY

“No, this is not true.”

“It is all just a game beta.”

“Come to Uncle. Let’s play a new game.”

Generally every time I give an indirect introduction about my articles, all of you get to know what it is about but I am sure that this time all those three lines in the beginning made no sense to most of you. You are not at fault for not understanding what those lines meant because most of us are not told about it. Recently I realised that when a child undergoes some bothersome incident, the blame is put on the victim and all that he/she could do is be a silent spectator. In most of the cases it’s a fable that children are abused because they cannot voice out what happened with them. You still did not get what this article is going to be about or are you still in a misconception that it is an illusion? So today I am going to voice out and talk openly about Child Sexual abuse.

I am not at all surprised looking at the facts that everyday 109 children are sexually abused in India according to the statistics in 2018. No,tell me, why would I be shocked or surprised reading it? The girl just went to meet her aunt but she was not at home. So she just spent some jolly time with “Uncle” but came back home upset, weak and silent. She got upset because “Uncle” spoke to her in a peculiar manner . She is weak because she ended up crying on her way back home and she is silent, because...............she does not know what happened with her.

A 10 year old boy spends almost 8 hours of his day at school and trusts the management more than anyone else. He is called by his sports teacher for practice all alone and little does he know what is going to happen to him. All he knows is that after a few years when he knows what actually happened to him, he would be broken from inside and give up his career because he fears his life more than losing all the golden opportunities.

When the girl goes and tells this to her mother she is shushed up and scolded for talking nonsense. And the boy knows no one to talk this to because he was never taught that he could undergo that pain. Children are the most vulnerable people existing on this planet who are not aware of their rights and thus taken for granted to be exploited.

So let me clear some myths about sexual abuse before we go further. Boys are sexually abused too and it has nothing to do with their gender. Sexual abuse and assault harms boys in the same way as it does to girls and it is equally harmful. Sexual abuse has nothing to do with how close that member is to the child. It may not always be a stranger; it could be your own family member or their teacher too. They can be sexually abused by the same gender too; it does not mean a girl is safe near another female and a boy is safe near a man.

It is not that sexual abuse does not happen to adults but with children the impact is more devastating ,since they trust the world beyond anything and are the most vulnerable to get deceived. Trust me, all these acts such as POCSO enacted by the government are of no use when you do not trust your own child. When your daughter tells you that “Uncle” has done something wrong with her; it means he has done it. There is no delusion in that and “Uncle” is just your family member; him being with you is of no use when your daughter cannot stay a moment with him. When your brother tells you that his Sports teacher has sexually assaulted him; do not tell him that it is fallacy and he is safe near other men. Because he is not! Do not make fun of your friend when he confides in you that he has been sexually abused by your own teacher or friend because whatever he has undergone is not tomfoolery, it is torment!

Listen to what they have to say and help them in facing the situation they are in because they are not the ones to feel guilty for what they have undergone. All those abuse cases will just remain a mere number as long as you spread no awareness to your children about such topics openly. There is nothing to feel ashamed of when discussing such topics. 

As many as 21,605 child rapes were recorded in 2018 which included 21,401 rapes of girls and 204 of boys, the data showed. Now do not tell me that it is just 204 boys against 21,401 girls; even a single boy counts as a child who has undergone sexual abuse. Before I end this article I want to state that all through my write-up I have used the word ‘SEXUAL ABUSE AND ASSAULT’ instead of ‘IT’ because those words have to be remembered and taught to our children instead of suppressing what it means.

“No amount of me trying to explain myself was doing any good.

I didn't even know what was going on inside of me, so how could I have

explained it to them?”

― Sierra D. Waters, Debbie.

Finally, teach children that they are not at fault when mishaps happen to feel guilty. It is us who need to help them rise to face this inhuman world.

Note: I would like to thank my friend and co-author “Sam isn’t a critic” who helped me write this piece in a very appealing manner to all of you.